Scorch The Earth, or This Is The Sound Of A Paradigm Shifting Without A Clutch

I'm about to say a lot of things that all make a lot of sense, and I bet are all really obvious.

You guys, I've been doing it wrong. All wrong.

8 weeks of being really excited about cross and yet showing up and getting mercilessly beaten force doubt and introspection.

I have come up with some things.

Listen, I finished last year with dreams of glory in flatter road races and etc. Last year I was perfectly happy with being a non-traditional bike racer - "oh look at that giant dude," "who put that bear on a bicycle," etc. I had this idea in my mind - cycling is all about power/weight ratio - change the bottom half of the equation and you change the ratio.

So I went about this year with the philosophy, I guess, that if I could look more like a bike racer (be skinnier), then I would be a better bike racer. Here is the thing: trying to make that shift in a year is asking more of my body than it can handle (save for, taking a year and spending it trying to lose weight - riding bonked all the time and not eating and etc. Worked for a while during 2000km July. But you see how much top-end fitness I had coming out of that - none). I am on the path of leaning out and becoming more muscular - but in 2 years of riding my bike increasingly more, I haven't really lost any weight - just turned a bunch of fat into muscle. I am stronger and fitter now. Well, arguably.

But the point is, this is all the wrong approach! Listen. I'm never gonna be as skinny as the rest of you bros. It's just not going to happen. I have a lean body mass of like 215-220 lbs right now. I am bigger than you. The odds of me being "a real bike racer"-type in the next few years are... low. This year I have deluded myself away from playing up my own strengths, in the name of trying in vain to eliminate my weaknesses. I should, in fact, build on my strengths. That 220 lbs of muscle? TURN IT INTO AN UNMITIGATED POWERHOUSE. Focus on developing increasingly staggeringly amounts of force to put into the pedals.

This philosophy limits me, certainly - I will forsake anything with hills in it. But that was happening anyway - you see, I have to take the bar exam next summer. So my summer racing will be severely curtailed. As in, don't expect to see much of me from May through July. I have been slowly realizing (and discussing with compatriots) over the last two months that I would prefer to focus my energy on criterium racing (and cross) anyhow. If I ever make it to the damn velodrome, hold on to your hats.

So here we are. Am I going to try to be a real bike racer? Eventually I could move in that direction. Training well, for the correct thing, will gradually burn the fat off my body. But is that a priority for me? No. Should it be? No! That is what I have been lacking.

Thus begins what I am going to refer to as the "Scorched Earth" project. Primarily because I would much prefer the ability to burn the face off of anything or anyone, in a straight up sprint. All in all, there is nothing revolutionary here. Just the realization that maybe I ought to focus on getting better at what I am already good at, rather than at what I am no good at. Stop trying to be fabulous Fabian or THOR SMASH and maybe try to be more like Chris Hoy. That guy is DIESEL.

Also, I have been going to rugby practice. I'm not sorry, it's pretty fun.

DCCX was this past weekend. The course was mostly fun, but featured a number of sections in which you had to pedal your bike up steep pitches. 2 laps of this were too much for my legs, and I cracked. On the upside, I did not crash. On the downside, I got lapped. I really like racing cross! I just have been exceedingly bad at it this year. It's too bad.

MNSR intelligence suggests that Kinder CX this weekend is pretty flat. Maybe I will actually race rather than be discouraged and not race, as I am inclined. Thanks to a suggestion, I have a hilarious idea for a halloween costume to race in.